Dear US CyberWatch

I'm sitting here reading what I wrote and its making me want to vomit all over the place, because that is disgustingly sick and nasty what I said and did. After talking on the phone I should of have stopped but I didn't and that just makes me even more sick and disgusted with what I did last night, and then to make things worse I went as far as to go all the way to Wichita to even try to pick her up, that was even probably the most dumbest thing in the world to do because that just showed I had every intentions of doing it. I know that last night I said how I wanted to do things with the little 13 year old girl, and I don't know why I was even talking to her because I normally don't talk to anyone under the age of 18 so why I did last night I don't know.

I know what I did was very wrong and very immoral. I realize what I did wasn't right and I am regretting it very much. I have seen what I wrote and I know I wasn't thinking straight, because if I was thinking straight I wouldn't have even been talk to her last night when she told me her age. after reading what I wrote it has made me sick to my stomach, and as I know it has to you as well and I'm hating myself very much for doing what I did. I don't know what I was thinking because after reading what I wrote I realized that I went against how I was raised and the morals that I have instilled in myself from the time that I was old enough to know right from wrong.

I know one thing that I want to do is to help stop this kind of thing from happening to kids because I realize that one day I will have kids and they too will be faced with the same kind of issues and situation that is currently at hand with what I did. Nikki and Jay please I ask from the bottom of my heart to please forgive me and look in the kindness of your hearts to forgive me. I never would of let this happen if I would of have been thinking straight, but I wasn't so this is what I have to live with for the rest of my life because I wasn't thinking strait, that I a 22 year old guy wanted to do things with a 13 year old girl. I cant even imagine what kind of an impact this would of had on the girl if she would of have been a real girl, I don't know what it would of have done to her because at the age of 13. Girls don't know what there body is doing all they know is that its changing and they want to find out what its capable of. Much the same way boys are, but both have been told not to do things with the opposite sex, because bad thing happen when they do, and here I was trying to get this little girl to do things that she had no idea about.

I was just right down straight up wrong in such a bad way that it isn't even funny, I wish that this would have never happened but it did and I have to live with this and grow from it to be a better person and be a person that will do the right thing no matter what. I want you all to know that I'm am a horrible person and that I am so very very sorry for what I did and I just ask for a little leniency in this matter, because I know that I'm punishing myself really hard for what I did. I don't know what else to say but I am so freaking disgusted with myself that it isn't even funny and that from now on I am never going to talk to anyone unless I know for a hard fact that they are of legal age. I'm not going to talk to another person other in a way that is in a mature manner and in a way that is only in a way of casual conversation, so I'm asking you from the bottom of my heart and asking you from a soldier in the us military that was went to war seen things that I would never wish upon anyone that you would forgive me. I honestly don't know what else to say because I'm at a lost for words on what to say. but again I ask for forgiveness, and mercy in this matter.


Sincerely,

Patrick